Fiction Book Review – Sphere, by Michael Crichton
I read a lot of books, so I might as well review them here too. I start us off with a wopdinger of a POS… “Sphere” by Michael Crichton. Yeah, I know, he writes great stories. Not all the time, he doesn’t. That will become very apparent as you read this review.
Published 1987. That’s quite a bit different than the date it hit Amazon, which was 2012. Amazon sucks for this… they should put the date it was first published as a story, not the date someone uploaded a 25 year old book to Amazon.
1. Cover – sucked. 0/5. I only saw the one in the bottom right corner when I ordered. There are SO MANY different covers for this book. Why? So many people bought the book or movie twice because they couldn’t recall the name of the story. That’s marketing for ya!
2. Believability Overall – Sucked. 0/5 Unbelievably unbelievable on an overall level. Then, there were parts of it that were just laughable. The biologist, supposedly one of the best in her field, when dissecting some squid they found, couldn’t find the stomach. She made another mistake with another organism, which I cannot recall, but equally as ridiculous.
3. Character Development? Sucked. 0/5 We get barely a glimpse into anyone’s life and I didn’t care about any of them. They could all die. I just wanted to see SOMETHING believable.
4. Character Believability – None. Sucked. 0/5.
5. Research – tech facts. SUCKED. Poisonous snakes. They’re “venomous,” not poisonous. Telling about sea kraits becoming more bitey at night – that’s banded kraits – Bungarus fasciatus, it’s not the same species, or even genus. There were a number of things that were not well researched, or even researched AT ALL. The snake bits stuck in my head because I am, after all, a venomous snake expert… (ThailandSnakes.com).
6. Coolness Factor – none. 0/5. If anything would have been believable in the slightest, this could have had a high coolness factor. As it was, I was looking for ANYTHING I could believe.
7. Amazon Reviews – 4.4 out of 5 Stars, 997 reviewers! This alone tells you that readers on Amazon don’t know their collective asses from a box of Fruit Loops.
8. Reviewers – this is absolutely OUTRAGEOUS that anyone gave this a positive review. Think reviews aren’t BOUGHT? The following is absolute proof. If this doesn’t instantly convince you that reviews from these sources are GARBAGE – nothing will. I wonder how they reviewed “Poseidon.” I’m truly afraid to look.
9. Feature Film – Apparently there was one, and Dustin Hoffman is in it. I can’t even force myself to go look for reviews of the movie because I fear the masses loved it.
10. Similar Writers – If you liked Michael Crichton’s “Sphere,” you will probably enjoy “Poseidon” the movie. Michael does have some good stories which came later in his career. Jurassic Park is one.
Other writers you may enjoy: Harlan Coban; Lee Child.
“Ingenious and beguiling.”
“Crichton keeps us guessing at every turn in his best work since The Andromeda Strain.”
—Los Angeles Times
“Sphere may be Crichton’s best novel, but even if it ranked only second or third, it would be a must for suspense fans.”
Similar Stories: Poseidon. I don’t know about the book, but the movie was so horrific I wanted to start shooting smack to bring myself back to reality. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t AS BAD as Poseidon. NOTHING is. Nothing EVER WILL BE. But, this ridiculous attempt at fiction is in the same class.
What I Learned About Writing:
Anybody can write a book. Your story can absolutely suck. Your characters can absolutely suck. The idea can be a good one. The author may not know how to implement the idea in any fashion at all. Still, the book can sell like crack in Hawaii and make hundreds of thousands of dollars for an author because the general reading public is so clueless and enjoys slop so much, that none of that matters in the least.
I learned to take a very good look at the published on date for authors that I have read and liked in the past.
I learned that even an author on top of his game in 2017, didn’t necessarily have any effing clue in 1987. So, this book is essential reading for every budding novelist in the world. When you realize that even this crap could sell so much just on the basis of a name, you will be further inspired to create more such crap and eventually you will make a living as an author at amazon. I have certainly been inspired!