I Will Not SuckI have this friend.

His life story is so motivational it makes me want to run down the street screaming shit. I mean, you couldn’t even fathom the life this guy had, and what he has become in spite of it. I can’t possibly grasp the magnitude of it myself.

He wrote me email the other day and I’ll share part of it with you. I’ve printed this out and it’s hanging on my wall in front of my computer where I’ll see it and read it daily. You should print it out and hang it on your wall too.

Here’s what he said…

Every day I set my sights on one thing and only one thing. I will not suck. I refuse to be dead weight. I will not quit. Nothing will make me quit.  I’ll die first.
Years ago with a hole in my chest, this was tested. Every step I wanted to quit. Every breath I wanted to quit. Just lay down and die, but my mantra or whatever you want to call it, was screaming, “Don’t you fucking do it. Don’t you fucking quit. You fight motherfucker, you fight and you kill those bastards who are shooting at you. You promised you would take Anvil home, now you keep your fucking word.
I swear to god I was having that conversation in my head.  I fought and my 300 magnum went to work. I came home and so did the Anvil. This is life…..  All life is like this.

He calls it a hole in his chest… really it was two holes. The bullet entered around his clavicle, ripped through his chest, and exited at his waist. Anvil was his friend he carried, also shot and dying. Anvil died before they reached the pickup zone. There is so much more to this story, it’s all heart-wrenching and pure fuckness… and this guy persevered through it all. He’s getting through every day he’s alive with the same attitude. Nothing can stop him.

This had me thinking all yesterday as I read what he said over and over and thought about the life he overcame to become one of America’s finest, most respected, most honorable soldiers – ever.

Wait, I have to print it out again, BIGGER.


This had me thinking because I’ll likely never know what it is like to be air-dropped into a foreign country I didn’t have a visa for. I’d never know what it was like to be in a remote location with a few other of my best friends in the world with dozens of bad guys firing automatic weapons at us. I’d never know what it is like to see friends shot and dying or dead. I’d never know what it is like to be shot myself and then carry my best friend over a dozen kilometers to a pickup spot only to have the officer in charge change the spot as being too hot, and re-establish another pickup zone ten more kilometers away.

I’d never know so many things my friend ENDURED and SURPASSED.

So I started to think about what I do know.

I know that my dumbass has been fooking around during 2013 without the massive accomplishment I wanted to achieve. I wanted to write a BIG BOOK in 2013. For some reason, well, for many lame reasons, I couldn’t focus on that. Instead I focused on my daughter, fears about my daughter, and getting myself in top physical condition to run races up mountains and skyscrapers.

I tossed 2013 right out the window by not getting serious about my work. My writing. My family’s future.

That’s what it amounts to. I fucked-off my family’s future in 2013.

I’m ashamed over it. My friend’s note makes me ashamed because I can’t even accomplish something like sitting my ass down to a computer and taking down what spills out of my head.

What the hell is that?

That’s what a loser does. I’ve never considered myself a loser. I was a loser in 2013 because I didn’t prioritize my family. Sure I spent a LOT of time with my daughter and wife. Sure I worked and made money.

Thing is, I didn’t do what I NEED TO DO.


Thanks to my friend as I re-prioritize my life this February 2nd, 2014. Thanks to my friend as he made me realize that fucking off is for fools and that all of life is as serious as SEALS in a firefight in a remote section of a third-world country. Every second of life is precious because I can be using it to accomplish my will. I must use every bit of time I have alive on the planet to make life better for my family.

I’ve not given this the importance it requires.

Writing BIG BOOKS is the only major hurdle I have in life.